And To Think That I Saw It on Milvia Street
Ever have one of those days when you wake up to discover that your watch battery is dead and your bike has a flat tire?
That was my morning.
As I was walking to work, I found an intriguing piece of paper that promised to solve all my problems.
At least, I think that’s what it promised.
The front of the card inexplicably proclaimed four names in huge block letters: Jesus Christ, John the Baptist, John F. Kerry, and John F. Kennedy. It then promised that the back of the card would offer:
DIVINE TRUTH REVEALED AFTER MEMORIZING
LOG10e(.43429 ... ) TO 2200 PLACES
Well, I certainly didn’t have the time to figure out all of those numbers myself, much less memorize them. So I flipped the card over to see what God had to say.
It appears that the Infinite Being was in rare form today:
BETH-EL SUPERNOVAED IN A STARWAR BY A KAMIKAZE, STARBOMB SURPRISE.
THE CRAB NEBULA, IN CONSTELLATION TAURUS, IS THE STARBOMB SURPRISE.
THE 1981 COMFORTER REVELATION WAS ABOUT JESUS CHRIST’S SECOND COMING IN THE YEAR 2004.
Um, okay.
Aside from the part where I kinda missed the Second Coming, I’m not sure that I was able to glean much of a lesson from this revelation. Well, except for this....
Friends don’t let friends memorize logarithms.
2 Ripples from “And To Think That I Saw It on Milvia Street”
Leighton says:
June 20, 2005 at 8:06 pm
I just had Maple crank out the first 2200 places of log[10](e). It’s about as interesting as you’d expect it to be. There are a lot of 6’s, though.
That said, I’ve been waiting for several years now for some cult to start arguing that the world ended in 2000 or 2004 or whenever, and right now we’re all living in a purgatory-world like the one in the Great Divorce where nobody seems to notice that they’re all really dead. That would be kind of funny. Sad too, I guess.
zalm says:
June 20, 2005 at 11:06 pm
Cranking out the numbers is one thing. But memorizing them � that’s when the magic happens.
There are a lot of 6’s, though.
Statistically speaking, one would hope. Although I hear that we have to worry about the ones now, too. All along, the mark of the beast was the area code for Holland, Michigan. Who knew?
To be fair to my cryptic friend, it does say that he only discovered that said logarithm was the key after seeing the number 9932 on a blessed crystal Hapi.
So, um, there’s that.
For that matter, it also says that this message is intended for Independence Day 2005. Exactly which part is intended for that day is more than a little unclear.
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