El Salmon Pasa (If I Could)
As a weekend of holidays and hosting draws to a close, nothing’s more attractive while I’m catching up on reading than a nice lazy meme. And this time around, I was actually tagged.
As best as I understand it, this one involves choosing five or so occupations from the following list and completing the sentence. (I’ve added a few options to the list that I’ve seen elsewhere.)
So, here goes....
If I could be a movie producer… I probably wouldn’t do yet another version of Pride and Prejudice, especially when the BBC version is so brilliant. Don’t get me wrong, the bits that we saw in the “pre-preview entertainment portion” at the movie theater last night didn’t seem half bad. Keira Knightley might turn out to be a perfectly serviceable Elizabeth. And Dame Judi as Lady Catherine De Bourgh might by herself justify the price of admission. The problem is Darcy. Colin Firth owns Darcy by now, don’t you think? And that pretty much condemns any new Firthless production from day one. So I wouldn’t even bother.
If I could be a scientist… For starters, it would certainly help me better understand the answers I get to the question, “What did you do today, honey?”
If I could be a secret agent… I sure as shootin’ wouldn’t talk about it on a website like this. That pretty much violates the First Rule of being a secret agent: Don’t talk about being a secret agent. For that matter, it probably also violates the Second Rule. On the plus side, I’d probably have a really badass theme song.
If I could be married to any current famous political figure… hmmm… Before tagging me for this, Kristen chose W, with the hope that she might broaden his political vision. As I thought about this one, it occurred to me that there might be nothing that would change the current political debate more than if President Bush were married to, say, me. Betcha didn’t see that one coming....
If I could be a nerf herder… I would know my nerfs and my nerfs would know me. “Go over there, nerf!” I would say. And the nerf would respond to my voice. “Don’t stray too close to the cliff, nerf!” I would call, even though I knew that falling over the cliff wouldn’t damage my nerfs in the slightest. I’d do it just to save myself from having to climb to the bottom of the cliff to retrieve them. In time, I would learn to be contented with being a nerf herder. But as I would plumb the depths of my soul on those lonely nights in the nerf pen, I would dream of courageously fighting foo.
Well, that’s all I can muster right now. I guess all that’s left is to tag others. Let’s see.... Well, I know that Kevin at Wasp Jerky and Jim at Serotoninrain are usually up for a little meme action. A lot of the other folks I’d tag have already been hit. So I guess I’ll just take the first caller who can tell me what the hell a “nerf herder” is.
1 Ripple from “El Salmon Pasa (If I Could)”
Kim says:
June 8, 2005 at 3:06 pm
Hey Zelm, after I read this post I went and checked out the trailer. At first I was all pissed at it - “wrong, wrong, wrong!” - but slowly I was drawn in (I’m a sucker for anything even remotely Jane Austen.) At the end of the trailer my sister walked in and thought I was crying. I was definately NOT crying, but I must have been pretty engrossed to give her that impression.
I agree with you that no one can ever replace Colin Firth as Darcy, but I’m pumped to see Keira Knightly in the Jennifer Ehle roll. Jennifer Ehle always seemed to be either smiling like a shark or throwing a fit.