From the Salmon

So this week marks six months since I hung up my shingle on this here site. I realize that this is only a minor milestone to commemorate — sort of a halfiversary, if you will. But I wanted to take some time for rambling self-assessment all the same.

I realize that this might end up being obnoxiously self-indulgent, so I’ll hide most of the rambling. That way, if this kind of thing doesn’t interest you, you can move right along. But if a handful of you are still reading, I thought I might give you a little more insight into why I’m doing this, what I’ve learned, what I hope to do, and (this is where I get really presumptuous) how you might join me in this journey.

Ramble on...

Why do I have this site?

Those who know me well will probably tell you that this site is somewhat of an unlikely project for me to undertake. I’m a fairly private person and ordinarily not someone to advance strong opinions. I’ve told very few people about this place, and when I do tell people, I’m awfully sheepish about it. So why do I bother?

On the one hand, this is a vehicle for me to learn about myself. I really do love writing, but as a graphic designer, I’d gone years without a regular outlet to engage in that passion. So this site gives me a chance to explore my ability to persuade, to describe, to entertain, to imagine, all with just the written word. As someone who thinks best when he’s writing, this also gives me a more structured opportunity to work through thoughts and ideas and arguments.

On the other hand, this is an entry point for me to engage in and foster conversation. This medium is at its essence an interactive and conversational one. One of my initial goals was for this site to give me a more legitimate presence in my conversation with people on other sites. While I’m still relatively nameless and faceless to most of you, I’ve at least begun to put forward a voice and a growing body of opinions and observations for others to consider as they interact with me. But as the site has progressed, it has also given me the opportunity to engage in dialogue here as well. More on that later.

So how do I think I’ve done, and what have I learned about myself after six months?

The truth is, I’ve surprised myself. I didn’t think I’d be this disciplined nor this prolific. When I started, I had as a goal to write something almost every day. And I’ve come close. I’m averaging about 25 posts and more than 10,000 words a month. And, with notable exceptions, I’m pretty proud of some of the stuff I’ve written. In many ways, it’s been more challenging than I thought. For every post I’ve published, there’s been two or three that I’ve really wanted to write, but never had the energy or the focus or the ability to bring it together. And when I don’t have the energy to write something substantive and interesting, I often fall back on the silly. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing. Some of you may actually prefer the silly.

I’ve learned that writing about the things that interest me most has been surprisingly difficult. In part, that’s because I have high standards for those posts. It’s also because when I get really excited about a topic, I tend to get really integrative. So sometimes I end up a little overwhelmed with the scope of what it is that I want to bring together. Let’s see, what else? I’ve learned that I’m more comfortable making assertions than asking questions. I’ve learned that site stats can become an unhealthy obssession to someone who is approval-oriented. I’ve learned that when I’m reading something that I want to write about later, it makes me read much more slowly than I usually do. That’s why I’m still in the middle of Willard and Volf. And I’ve learned that most of the posts that I never publish are posts that I write when I’m angry.

What do I hope to do with this site in the future?

Well, I’d like to tackle some of those topics that have proved more difficult than I expected. I’d like to write more about the relationship between religion and politics. I’m hoping to eventually get to a series of posts on justice and reconciliation (after I’m done with Volf, whenever that might be). I’ll probably continue to focus periodically on Africa and global poverty. I’d like to continue to grow more as a critic, so I’ll probably continue to write regularly about music and, to a lesser extent, film and books. I’d like to learn to ask more questions. I’d like to encourage conversation and dialogue. I’d like to continue to build some of the relationships (dare I say friendships?) that have begun as a result of this site.

How can you be a part of this journey?

First of all, I can’t stress enough how much I appreciate your comments and feedback. Thank you so much for bothering to visit and caring to contribute. I hope that as you continue to comment, you will feel free to ask me questions, challenge me, and hold me accountable. And while I certainly enjoy the back and forth with each of you individually, I hope that this will someday be a place where people will feel free to talk to each other, whether I’m responding or not. Also, I know that there are a number of you lurking out there, and I’d love for you to introduce yourself.

Enough already!

Well, for a self-described private person, that sure was a lot of introspective blather. If anyone has read this far, I’m touched but astonished.

For the rest of the week, I’d like to write more about this medium and about community, communication, humility and confession. We’ll see how I do.

Thanks again for reading. Here’s to the next six months.