From the Salmon

Since we no longer have a car and since my back is not quite ready for biking yet, I’ve been walking a lot.

On my way home from work this evening, I noticed a small piece of paper taped to a telephone pole. In letters that filled most of the page, it commanded:

End your enslavement to the auto/oil routine.

I wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but it stopped me in my tracks.

Was there a new technological breakthrough that required less frequent oil changes? I’ll admit, it was a trifle inconvenient to have Firestone change my oil every few thousand miles, but that hardly qualifies as enslavement, does it?

Then I noticed that the posting also had two lists in much smaller type. Maybe the small print would help me figure out what the sign was trying to say.

As I squinted hopefully, I made out the following lists:

global warming,
pollution, insurance,
gridlock, parking,
asphalt, concrete,
plastic, gasoline,
three empty seats,
boredom, sloth, greed

global relocatization, [sic]
local food security,
organic permaculture,
green urban planning,
ecological solutions

Okay, I get it. Our lives revolve around cars, which means that we consume a lot of oil. Fine. I’m assuming that the first list was all the bad things about our gas guzzling and the second was, um, a list of not-bad things that may or may not be related to our gas guzzling. Hmmmm…

Y’know, this whole sign could use some work. I’m nothing if not helpful, so I’d like to offer a few tips to my signposting friends:

1. I couldn’t help but notice that the signs you posted were quite small and weren’t facing the road. It seems to me that this is poorly conceived message placement. After all, the only people who might be able to read your signs are pedestrians. And if they’re already walking, it’s quite possible that they’re not so much your target audience.
   
   I know that there’s a lot of competition for the high profile spots, but keep in mind that this is the Auto/Oil Routine Enslaver lobby you’re going up against. You think they skimp on their ad buys? No sirree, Bob!
   
   At the very least, I suggest making a much bigger sign and placing it facing the road. Just a thought.


2. If a big sign is beyond your capability, maybe you should consider many, many smaller leaflets that you could slip under the windshield wipers of cars, seeing as how they’re the most easily fliered half of that whole Enslaver combo thing.


3. Most important, I think you need a little message refinement. You have a bold statement to make, even if it is a little cryptic. You tell me to end my enslavement, but you don’t tell me how.
   
   This is a problem.
   
   Maybe that second list is your attempt. But after getting me all fired up about my enslavement, you want me to establish an organic permaculture? Um, sure. I’ll do that right after I finish my “global relocatization.” Is Thursday good for you?

All kidding aside, we’re actually quite grateful to live where we live. If we’d been commuting several miles to work every day, we would have been in trouble. But we weren’t. We can both walk (or bike) to work. On top of that, we live within only a few blocks of grocery stores, restaurants, major public transportation hubs, and even something like 20 movie screens.

I’m not suggesting that the Berkeley tourism folks should get cracking on a “Berkeley: it’s a great place to total your car” campaign. I’m just saying we’re grateful for things we had previously taken for granted.

For example, our place is also within walking distance of three or four car dealerships. And with any luck, we’ll be back to the enslavement of the auto/oil routine in no time!

Sweet enslavement. I miss you so much.