Roadside Eschatology
I’m still catching up from two nights of Sufjan and two days in what the kids call “The OC.” More about the former after I get some sleep.
In the meantime, maybe somebody can help me through a bit of an eschatological crisis I’m having as the result of a sign I saw in Newport Beach this morning:
In Heaven, there won’t be beer
So you better drink it while you’re here
Now I realize that as a source for solid theology, a sign outside a liquor store is probably about as reliable as a sign outside a church. And I know I should be more skeptical of things that rhyme.
Nevertheless, it’s still got me a wee bit worried. There will be beer in heaven, right?
Right?
4 Ripples from “Roadside Eschatology”
shaug says:
October 14, 2006 at 10:11 am
First of all, don’t call it that.
Second, this one’s my favorite:
http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/images/churchsigns/infallible.jpg
As for beer in heaven, no one can be sure. That’s why this is a perfect time to apply Pascal’s Wager. If there’s no beer in heaven, the sign’s missive applies. If there is, you may as well be an informed consumer.
Jonathan says:
October 14, 2006 at 11:10 am
To leverage a bit of theological authority on the matter, we are absolutely positive there will be wine in heaven (read new earth). Whew! At least we have that going for us.
As for beer, I am 98% positive that you can rest easy on that one too. And it will be good beer at that, no macro brews or light beer. As one 13th century city ordinance from Augsburg, Germany reads: �The selling of bad beer is a crime against Christian love.� I should think the absence of good beer would be no less.
Jim says:
October 14, 2006 at 4:11 pm
That rhyme you qouted is a kind of misquoted polka lyric: In heaven there is no beer, that’s why we drink it here.
But I’ve always preferred Ben Franklin’s take on the situation: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
So, uh, QED. Or something.
Kevin says:
October 16, 2006 at 3:10 pm
If not, do what I’m going to do. Ask St. Peter to place you in an eternal missionary position in hell, preferably on the outter rings, so as not to get scalded or maybe in purgatory. Surely there is beer there, and then you can be incarnational. You can be saved, drink beer and witness all at once.
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